I did it again.

I’m having a good start to my morning. This morning I have to leave the house to accomplish some task that I have been putting off. I’m doing well with applying a schedule to my day, although following it  is sometimes redundant when then lives of others are in constant motion around me. Aelicia has became a constant reminder that I came home to be a help with my grand kids.

I’m trying to continue with reorganizing and putting things in place and getting our home office set up. While cleaning I broke a glass bowl that I kept little things in like SD cards . I was hanging a 5’x6′ painting above a shelf. The painting slipped and landed on top of the glass bowl . I hope I got all the glass up. Everyone of my children and grand children , including me rather walk around without shoes. Although I have started getting complete dressed in the mornings for the last couple of weeks. I’m training myself to be ready for anything.

    I’ve been working on changing some of my bad personality issues. For some reason I don’t wake up in a good mood Ever. OR I CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I ACTUALY WOKE UP WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE. It’s as if I have to make myself smile when I want to cry. I keep it all in and I’m about to explode. I want to get out of this house , travel and take pictures. Spend time with adults and have adult conversations.

 My husband must think I’m crazy but he has not said a word. But I have noticed that I don’t even say ” Good Morning when he is around when I get up. He always greets me with a cheerful good morning and a cup of coffee, or are warm ‘how are you’. And I can’t seem to respond correctly.  I manage to snap at him for no foreseen reason.  

Writing has become my therapy. And having a daily schedule and routine to my day also helps. Using these tools to get  through the life span if the coronavirus pandemic. Working on me menially, spiritually and intellectually. I want to work harder on  my short comings so that when the right piece of my life’s puzzle is in place I can be ready for Gods Grace and Peace.  I don’t want to be stuck in a place of misery and despair. This is why I say I did it again, woke up on the wrong side of happy is morning. But I have shook it off and moved my day forward.

16 thoughts on “I did it again.”

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